so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
