Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
