When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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