So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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