I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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