There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
