he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
