I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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