I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize