"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
