just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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