sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
