I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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