The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
