Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
