oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
