There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
