real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
