have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
