Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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