Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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