i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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