That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
