Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
