so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
