Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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