New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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