I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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