This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
