You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I will pee on everything he values.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
