the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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