I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
