haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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