Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
