omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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