So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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