Will you blow on my dice?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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