There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
