dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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