O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
