This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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