I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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