i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
