watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
