I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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