Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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