pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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