took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
