He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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