We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
