Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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