bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
