it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
