Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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