I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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