I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
