sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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