All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
