his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
