yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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