your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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