Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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