I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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