yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
