Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
